Thoughts on Zombie Bug, Boys, and Cancer

After school today, a third grader invited me to listen to him read a book he wrote about Zombie Bug. This particular third grade happens to be ADORABLE! He's a very hyper, wiggly little boy who has a heart of gold. Anyway, with his missing front teeth and adorable little boy voice, he read his book about Zombie Bug and Zombie Bug's friend, The Best Person Ever, stopping to show the pictures. I loved every last minute of it. Then I got in the car and cried.

Last weekend my sister and I went over my cousin's house to play games. She has two sons ages eleven and seven. They are loud and hyper and kept jumping in front of the television while we played Scene It. But even when they were at their most obnoxious, I was jealous. I would love to have obnoxious.

This morning I found out that a childhood friend is dying from cancer. She was moved to hospice care today. Like me, she is twenty-five; incredibly young to be going through this. We have spent little to no time together since eighth grade, but I am praying desperately for a miracle for her. She is a single mom of a little boy in first grade who is a student at the school where I teach. Today at the back door, I said hello to him, and he grabbed my head and told me he was an alien eating my brains. My heart aches for him and for her. Cancer is an awful thing.

All these things are weighing on my heart together right now. Even now, I'm looking for a common thread between the three. I thought it was the preciousness of each little boy, and the fact that they make me want not only a child of my own, but a son. But I feel like there is something more here that God wants me to grasp. He is present in all of these situations; a toothless third grade boy excited that the middle school English teacher liked his book, two crazy little hooligans learning to play well with others and having fun doing so, and a precious little man who, despite the turmoil in his life, seems to exude a peace that can only come from God. All four boys are safe, and content, and seem to have no fear about the future. I wish that was something that I could grasp.

New Hope!

Just a quick update about some new things I'm learning about and trying out as I continue to pursue the desires of my heart.

1. I've started taking potassium iodide which my herbalist tells me will help even out my hormones and make me lose weight. It was take a few months to see a difference, so I'll keep you updated.
2. I just ordered D-chiro-inositol which is an herbal supplement recommended to me by a friend who has PCOS. She and her daughter have both seen a difference in weight, cycle, and facial hair since they've been on it. If you read the reviews, it sounds quite impressive. Several women say they got pregnant after being on it. The website actually recommends some other supplements to add on also, one of which is Vitex which I've used before; thinking about going back on it. My amazing in-laws are paying for the first two months and my mom wants to pay for the third. I'm excited. Keep me in your prayers as I try this new thing.
3. At my craft fair on Saturday, I got a free chiropractic adjustment and learned that my hips are apparently "stuck" which doesn't really suprise me (Steve thinks this is why I can't stick my butt out. Men!). But the doctor said this can affect child bearing and possibly have an effect on my fertility. Steve and I both are scheduled for a discounted appointment on Friday (Hopefully this will help with my ridiculous headaches too...currently dealing with my third bad one since Friday). I also won a free massage gift certificate which I am pretty excited about!

Anyway, I thought I'd offer these ideas out there for anyone else who is going through any of this (even just the PCOS without the infertility) and in case anybody reading this is praying for me and wants to know some specifics to pray about (Thanks for those prayers!).

Things have been easier lately, mostly because I've been busy, but this Saturday I was reminded again of how deep this desire for children goes. At my cousin's house, while her sons were being ridiculously obnoxious, all I could think of was how badly I want that!

However, as my mother-in-law reminded me "Today is the day that the Lord has made; I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!"